When I met the amazing Vivian Arend this past spring and was able to spend some quality one on one time with her one of the things we talked about was my story. She encouraged me to write my story as she felt there was so many women out there who either have been where I was, or are currently going through what I went through.
I honestly didn’t think I could write my husband and I’s infertility story, however as I have been writing the Holiday Vermont series it has become glaringly obvious to me that one of my couples is going to have infertility issues.
Is it going to be an easy story to write? Absolutely not. It may just be the most gut wrenching story I ever write, but it also has the potential to be the most honest book I ever write. Because I know exactly how my heroine feels, and when it comes to tapping into my hero, well lets just say I’m going to be making sure DH gets up close and personal with his emotions for me 😀
Now I have to make sure and do this story justice for a lot of reasons. The number one being that it can be waaayyy to emotionally charged and overshadow the love story. But I feel compelled to write this story, for a lot of reasons.
One of those reasons being the fact that in almost every single of of the romance books I have read where the couple is infertile there is an epilogue where they are miraculously cured of their infertility. Not all but the majority. I much prefer the couple to have either gone through lengthy and yes painful infertility treatments (both my sister and my cousin did this, while my sister’s infertility was a direct result of her birth control pills once she was able to get pregnant the first time she never had a problem getting pregnant, while my cousin had several miscarriages in between her kids) or to choose to adopt (which is the route my husband and I took).
I think one of the reasons I don’t like those stories is because the ending isn’t really realistic. Women who have acute endometriosis aren’t going to ever carry a baby full term no matter how much the author wants it to be so, they will be lucky to carry past the 4 month mark. Men who have low to no sperm count are going to magically going to be able to produce more sperm.
Infertility is something very close to me and my husband. My children are teenagers now and there are days when I struggle with how I wasn’t able to not necessarily have my own baby, but to carry a baby to full term because in my heart and mind my boys are MY children and when I imagine being pregnant it’s with them, and it’s the same way for my DH. Our boys are OUR boys, when we imagine me pregnant it’s ALWAYS with them. We never think about the fact their adopted, which is fairly obvious as one of black and neither my husband nor I are.
So here’s wishing me luck on writing a this couple who have some major obstacles to overcome.